How I learnt to stop comparing myself to others.

I was there, in a very bright lovely room, with lots of windows and a beautiful flowering balcony garden. The natural scent of peppermint essential oil made me feel the sense of comfort and relaxation.

It was an event for women. The song of Jason Mraz "Love is still the answer" was played while we were going around and greeting each other. The majority of them either own their passionate start up projects, be the heads of international organizations or have the adventurous life for themselves. As I was passing by each person, my mind started chattering: "Look at you, who are you to be here? You don't belong to this place." That was the voice of my inner critic. She always speaks up in these moments.

I took a deep breath. Slowly focus on each inhalation and exhalation.

Noticing the thought is the powerful way to deal with it but not let it control us.

Everything can change with our self - awareness.

Regularly, the next thing I do was writing. We do not fear the darkness, we fear of what we assume into the darkness. When my mind chatters with a billion of thoughts, I would instantly be distracted and depressed (I am not so enlightened). Writing is the effective way for me to calm my nerves and let me see things clearly. I wrote down all the judgments and criticisms I heard from my mind, one by one. Most of the times, when I compare myself to others, I feel really annoyed. I avoid talking to them and eventually hating them. They don't annoy me. I annoy myself. Because looking at them triggers the pain in me. The pain of "I am not enough".

What will you do to solve this problem? If you are like me, ambitious and driven, you may try your best to be enough. I spent my last 24 years to do that. I proved myself to others and chased for the recognition from my family, teachers, lovers and bosses. Plus, I had to be better than all of my friends. I saw them as goals for me to push myself further. If I wasn't the best, I wasn't enough and didn't deserve to be loved. I needed to try more. However, the more I tried, the more insecure I was. I never felt I was enough no matter what I did. The outside might change but the inside never changed. Inside, I was still that unconfident and insecure girl. I still couldn't dare to break my own limit and do what my soul was calling.

I guess this is also the reason why so many celebrities, even though they seem to "have it all" - money, talent, recognition, admiration, they are still in deep depression and worry about their career.

I have come to realize that if I don't feel enough right now, I will always compare myself to others, feel lack, try my best to be enough, then compare and feel lack again. Never I feel peaceful with who I am. This would only drain off my energy and all at one, break me down someday.

Our minds always want to convince us that we are not good enough. But is it true?

The biggest difference between me - a few years ago and me - "today's version" is that I learn to question my mind.

The mind is just a part of us, along with our body and soul. It learns from what we were taught in childhood or the painful past experiences. Unfortunately, most of these are negative lessons. Therefore, what your mind have been telling you all these years might not be the truth. Learn to question it can make our mind think again, break the old limited beliefs and form new ones.

"Is it true that I am not enough to do what I want to do?" - I asked myself.

I like to see trees as metaphors for life lessons. Looking at the tree always reminds me the calmness and peacefulness. Even when it is just a seed, it doesn't rush the process and wonder its ability to grow and expand. As for any single moment, the tree knows it is enough. We are also like that. Feeling enough doesn't mean we will not strive to be better. Feeling enough gives us a sense of confidence, being grounded that we know we will be more skillful and experience in the future, but for this moment, we are enough. Good enough, smart enough and skillful enough to start following our passion.

Life is not a race to see who is going faster. It is a journey for me to go within myself, unblock my fears and discover my gifts I can contribute to the world. Everyone has different lessons to be learnt and each of us is so enough for our journey at any particular time.

Since the day I hugged myself and gently told her I am enough, I have been free myself so much from the comparision, the judgment and criticism. On these days, sometimes, I still catch myself comparing to others and feel lost, but it doesn't matter anymore. As I know, I can always come back to the source of love within myself. This source knows I am always enough the way I am.

I took a deep breath and started writing for my blog. This is not to show off or prove to anyone. But it is just for me, for my passionate love for writing, to use my gifts to help others.

And you? Do you know how enough and beautiful you are?

I hope the answer would be Yes.