How I learnt to heal myself from my last break up

I remember the day I broke up with my ex boyfriend for the 2nd time.

7 years ended in a few short messages.

"No more tears this time!" - I told myself. I decided to freeze my pains, put it in a box and covered it under the layers of my heart.

I didn't talk much about my breakup with anyone. When someone asked me if I still loved him or not, I felt annoyed. "I am fine" - I replied.

I threw myself out to the world and started building up my own life after spending so many years planning my life with someone else.

I found a good job. Have a few good friends. Meet some amazing people and follow my own passion.

My family and friends seemed to be happy for me as finally, I could free myself from a toxic relationship.

I thought I was fine, too.

However, I knew something was still haunting me everytime I was alone.

I looked at our old pictures with a tight chest and a hard breath.

I secretly followed him on social media and caught myself in tears for no reason.

I tried to get his attention by posting my life on facebook page which seemed to send a message: "Hey, look at me, I am still alive without you. Now, crying for losing a girl like me"

So sad but it was the truth.

I had to admit that I hadn't forgotten my ex. And I hadn't forgiven myself for the breakup.

It is hard to admit the truth, but it is the only way to know that you need to heal.

What will you do when you have a wound in your body? You will heal it first, right? Otherwise, you will carry that wound into your life, suffer the pains and mess everything up.

If your heart is still carrying the pains, you will search for the pains in your outer life. Some people I know, they run into other man's arms after the breakup to avoid the emptiness within themselves. Most of the time, they caught themselves staying in toxic relationships, again, no matter how hard they have tried. This is the law of attraction - "Like attracts like".

The love outside of you is always the reflection of the love inside you.

Do you see yourself in these situations? If yes, it is okay.

Now, take a deep breath with me. Find a quiet place for yourself.

Your heart might have been carrying so many things inside, so gently let it open naturally for you.

The great tool for emotional healing is through writing.

Writing a letter to someone which is never meant to send is the amazing way to help you release all the emotions inside.

Today, I invite you to write a letter to your ex.

Starting the letter by answering two questions:

1) What memories were between you two that you still remember?

2) What did you want to tell him but you didn't?

Let your hand move on the paper. You might be suprised by what has been holding your heart for too long.

And cry if you want to.

We are taught that being vulnerable is weak. However, for me, it is the sign of strength as you dare to face your painful emotions. You don't need to say "I'm fine" when you are not. Just cry, be angry or do whatever you want to express your emotions.

I wrote a lot of letters for my ex. I cried every night I did so. However, like a magic, my heart became lighten after each night. I could feel a fresh affectionate river flow through my body and fill in my heart. I knew, at that time, I am always loved by the universe.

It might take you 1 week, 3 months or years to write letters to your ex to heal yourself. However, you don't need to wait until you are completely healed to start a new relationship. As long as you start working on yourself, it is already perfect. Your heart, even when you open it a little bit, you will see how powerful it brings love into your life.

When you are ready, forgive ex boyfriend or anyone who makes you hurt. And close that chapter of your life. It is only the past. The lesson has been learnt. You have become stronger.

Now, welcome to your new life. I can see, before you, there are so so much love waiting for you.

To the best life you deserve to live,

Katherine.