10 things I have learned throughout my 4 years of transformation

"From now on, I will never eat meat again" - I talked to my dad using my deepest tone of voice ever.

"What are you talking about?" - His eyes became larger

"Let's see how long she can stand" - My mom added while cooking in the kitchen. I could sense a bit worry from her voice.

It was the first time I did something against my parent's wish. The first time I did something which was different from those around me. The first time I could feel a fire coming from my core up to my throat and whispering to my ears that this was exactly what I wanted to do.

It has been 4 years since then.

I am still a vegetarian. I didn't become ugly or lack of any vitamins like some said. Instead, I am healthier, stronger and more beautiful. It was the best decision ever in my life. It opened the gates for many changes after that.

I prayed for great things coming to my life. Well, it did come, not in the forms of an easy, happy and exciting adventure, but in the forms of pains and challenges. There were times I felt lost, depress and aloneness. Looking back, it all made sense. It was there to give me lessons to grow and expand. It broke my heart, turned me inside out so that love can come in through the crashes. I have learned life important lessons so that right now, I am happier, braver and so comfortable in my own skin. It was a great journey, indeed.

If you are worried, lost and empty right now, I wish that my lessons I write down below could be the guide for you and give you strengths so that you can continue with your journey. Here are what I have learned throughout my 4 years of transformation:

1. He left me and it is okay.

When he left me, my whole world broke down in a second. That was the most scary thing for me. I had no job, no friend and he left me. How could I survive? Well, you see, I survived. Better than ever. Looking back, I realized everything wasn't fall out of place, it actually fell into place. It cleared my way so that I could learn meaningful things for my life. I have learned to love myself and be on my own feet. You can cry, get angry and look ugly. But after that, it is time to move on. Stand up, be yourself and shine your own light like the whole damn fire.

2. When you don't get something, it is because there is something else bigger waiting for you.

I planned to come to India for a long time. I had successfully passed the interview to work in a big multinational company in India. However, my visa got rejected at the very last minutes. This turned out to be a very good thing for me. As right now, I have a very meaningful life in my country. Keep moving, don't give up, the universe always guide you to the purpose of your life. If you cannot get something, take a deep breath, God might has another beautiful plan for you.

3. Choose your friends wisely

I have learned that people whom you are connecting with affect you a lot. It doesn't mean you would choose those who seem to bring benefits for you or "better" than you. They maybe someone who can help you or need your help, as long as you feel nurture, grow and expand when you are around them. They are the ones who come to this Earth with you to support your journey. Open your palm and connect with them.

4. Reach our for help

I used to believe that asking for help means that I am weak or I might be annoying someone by doing so. I closed the doors to receive the support from the world. Actually, the universe always wants to help us, maybe by good things suddenly happened or through a hand of someone. There are so many people out there listening to that call and be willing to offer you their help. Reach out for help, in family, friends, supportive community or a coach/therapist. My journey has been enlightened and clarified so much with the guidance from my coach.

5. Set boundaries with others

As being raised up by a traditional Asian family, a girl like me was supposed to be a family carer, giver and be proud to have the opportunities to offer myself to others. Requesting something, especially from a man, is not an appropriate thing to do. Therefore, I grew up to be a women who just always be there for others every time they need me (well, even when they don't need). I put myself the responsibility for the happiness of others. If they didn't feel good? It was definitely my flaws. I forgot one thing - myself. How can I give love to others when I don't have it for myself. Each person has the responsibility for their life, not you. They will find their ways when they are ready. Prioritize yourself first. Learn to know what you can and cannot do for others. Set the healthy boundaries with them so that you can have more energy to offer yourself fully to those who really need your help.

6. Learn to be alone with yourself

I remember there were times I went to bars until midnight. Getting myself around with the crowded, noisy music, alcohol and the smell of smoke made me feel so relax. However, It didn't last long, I then felt empty when I was alone. Actually, I wasn't relax at all. The fact that I was just running away from my own problems. I hated myself. However, I had to do everything with me. What would I do? Definitely I would try to avoid to be with me alone as much as I could. I have come to realize that only when I learned to be alone with myself did I deal with my real problems. Only since then, I could feel the real peacefulness inside out.

7. Become friends with your fears

Fear is not that bad like some said. "Don't be afraid. Keep moving" - I heard these words so many times in my life. However, I believe we can never be fearless. Fear is like the informational center which gives us the perfect sense of dangerous situations. If you really want to do something for your life, acknowledge your fear then CHOOSE to take action no matter what. The more you do, the more familiar you brain feels and fears might be disappeared eventually.

8. Take one baby step at a time

For a long time, I stopped making a plan for the whole year or even the next 5 years. Actually, we can even do more things. Making the long plan might limit your creativity. I learned to focus on the next step instead. Big jumps can harm my nervous system and cause unnecessary dramatic changes for my life. Therefore, each day, I only take one baby step towards my purpose. I may walk more slowly but more persistently and groundedly. And importantly, more fun.

9. You are always worthy

I once thought that I am only worthy when I get that job, work for that company, earn that amount of money, have that boyfriend and be like that person. However, it doesn't work that way. I could never keep my head high and be comfortable in my own skin. For years, I have practiced self-talks in front of the mirror that I am worthy everytime I feel insecure. You know, it is really awesome and uplifts my wings towards the sun. Nothing feels more delicious than knowing you are worthy, enough, lovable and deserve the best things in life. Everyone has their own crystal inside of them. The crystal with many facets covered with dirt. Some has cleaned a few facets, others have not. However, we are all the same. No one is above or below anyone else.

10. Love yourself

Self love - the hardest, longest lesson I have ever learned. All of what I have learned above is through the love for myself. It has changed my whole life. It is not only about taking care of your body but also learning to love your real imperfect self, having compassion for your mistakes and doing whatever it takes to follow your passion. In order to go further in the outside world, you have to go deeper in your inner world. Learn to understand yourself, unblock your fears and live the life you are meant to live. I suggest you connect with beautiful souls who remind you to love yourself, join workshops and supportive community and maybe find your own coach to guide you back to the light within yourself.

Love,

Katherine.